22 Comments

I felt this in my gut, Nida. Wow.

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Aliens of the world, unite!!!😂 I’m so glad you felt this. It makes me feel less alone.😊

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So, so lovely, Nida! Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece and for continuing to search for your true nature. The world needs you and your story. XO

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Thank you so much, Danielle, for your presence here and your kind words of encouragement! They made my day.☺️

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Your writing was a gift to me this day. And I care to know who you are! Thank you for sharing yourself and for your vulnerability. I look forward to more. XO

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The way you started this piece out was masterful Nida! 👏🏽

I'm grateful for the amazing "I" you reveal through your words and to call you a friend.

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Thank you, Jamal! Just trying to figure myself out, as you can see. And remind myself to be free. Especially these days, when I’m feeling constantly triggered and have to push myself to be an intentionally created “I” rather than an automatically reactive one.

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Peace be with you. By the way, I made you lunch https://www.instagram.com/reel/C9kXmEqO3Kd/?igsh=c2NkaHR4cXBrZHI2

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Thank you! Would love to try it out.☺️ Hope you’re doing well.

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Beautifully expressed. I can so relate to it. You have to be your own person. You have to have your own identity. You can not be a people pleaser all the time. You are the one who has to draw the line. If people treat you like shit shun them out of your life. Don't let others maltreat you. You have to fight your own struggle. People just need an excuse to gossip. Don't be afraid of people. If they exploit you or throw taunts at you don't sit and watch silently. Give them a piece of your mind. Iv learnt this over the years. All my life iv been worried about what people will say about me but now I have a renewed energy where I will not tolerate nasty people. If they pick a finger at me I will not stay quiet. I will fight back. Fight for my right and stop being fearful of people.

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Thank you, Beenish, for your feedback and insights! I agree with you 100%. But it can be a little tricky when the people who hurt you most are the ones responsible for taking care of you. I think we’re shaped just as much by the beauty within us as we are by the bitterness. And both can be just as crucial in turning us into the people we were meant to be. So, although I don’t condone abuse of any kind, I do think it’s possible to see our traumas as hidden blessings sometimes.

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growing up feeling unseen and without a sense of identity is very hard, you've captured this succinctly -- tragic to read how you've learned to shape yourself to fit the expectations and needs of others, taking on different identities depending on the people they were with. a real chamelion. In the vastness of solitude, we discover the beauty of our own transformation. Sure, we can adapt, we can change, and we can thrive in every environment but alone, we find the strength to be ourselves fully.

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Beautifully put, Bing! Thank you for sharing. I believe everyone should have the experience of living alone for some time to get to know themselves better. Many people get that when they go to college (if they move away for college), but I went to the same college as a group of friends and a boyfriend - I was almost never alone, and when I was, my depression kicked in. I thought the depression was from the solitude, but actually, it was from the anxiety and low self-esteem that came from my troubled relationship. Solitude with some nearby support when needed - that would be ideal.

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Woah. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Tears, laughs, smiles, all of it, while reading this. So beautiful! So powerful. You’re amazing. 💛

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Thank you!🥰 I’m so glad you liked it. I started out wanting to keep it raw and real, but then this other, more performative, playful side of me kept trying to crack out. The things I do to keep myself sane, I guess!😂

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A doll for my mother to dress — this about knocked me out! This was me!!

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Oh Caroline! I’m so sorry! It must have been a generational thing. I’m 43 now, visiting my parents for the summer, and it honestly feels like nothing has changed sometimes. I hope the same isn’t true for you.

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Lots of changes and I’m grateful. But those habits die hard. She’d still pick out my clothes if I let her 😂

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Thank you for sharing "I" with us..she is a gift!

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Hahaha! Poor you, you didn’t really have a choice. But I’m so glad my life was lit up by yours.❤️

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I wouldn't have it any other way! Love you friend ❤️

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Love you, too!!!😘

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