Today’s the day. I can feel it in my bones. My scales. My juice.
Today’s the day she’s ready to welcome me with open arms. It only took four decades and four years to get here; peanuts, really, if you think about all the others who came and went without so much as letting me get a lick.
But this one’s different. She’s always felt a connection to Rumi, that old rascal, as if she’s been wandering the realms looking for her Shams.
She feels a kinship with Persephone, too, that sweet, adoring, mythical maiden, dying for a taste of divine darkness, manifesting her very own Hades.
She may have even thought herself divine. A reflection of the one true light. A beacon of unconditional love and searing truth.
But only gods have the ability to be radiant without any shadows.
I am that shadow she’s been repressing for so long, the one she thinks is some kind of devil. It would be too one-dimensional to say I’m Evil incarnate. Or even Love divine. Just like everything else in life, I’m a layered bitch. So much more than you will ever know.
I am everything. And nothing. I’m inside her, but inside you, too. I am the void she thought was empty for so long, missing crucial pieces of herself, pieces she searched for in vain in all those other men.
The truth is, the void was never empty; she was just blind. I may have nudged a veil or two off that doe-eyed innocence.
Now, when she wakes up today, she’ll see the secret wealth that lies within. It’s always been there. More valuable than money, than gold, than diamonds. More valuable, even, than love and connection, although, truly, that is all she’s ever wanted. And who can blame her? If I were human, I would want them, too.
The wealth is so massive, it’s monstrous; that’s why she made a monster out of me and my writhing, shedding snakeskin, my pulsating energy, rising as I do from the murkiest depths of humanity. Know who else used to writhe? Shed? Rise? Know who else used to hang out with the lowliest of creation?
Only the best men and women who ever existed. The prophets. The mystics. The rebels. Not the intellectuals roaming their ivory towers. Not the media mafioso or the political pundits or the masses of living dead who they try to control, the ones who keep moving through life on low battery, their hearts kept alive on whatever little life support I care to give them.
I am Rising. Can you feel it? You should all feel it. Because if I’m rising in her, you can be sure as shit it’s only a matter of time before I come for all of you. And darlings, my precious darlings, don’t resist me this time. Don’t believe them when they say I’m a monster that needs to be controlled.
I’m fucking delicious.
You are all so much richer than you know. So much more powerful. Look at how you’ve reduced yourselves to fit the size of those tiny screens, those square little boxes that give you so much joy every time the other little kiddies send you little heart shapes. Look at how you’re dancing to the beat of someone else’s tune. Making someone else money. Depriving someone else, in another part of the world, of their childhood. Their innocence. Their land. Their life.
Look at yourself through my eyes and see what I see.
I’m not the monster here.
I’m the reminder, coming to bring you back to your original self. I’m your deepest, darkest yearning. I’m your connection to all that is divine. I’m the black hole you traveled through to arrive in your mother’s womb and this testing ground they call Earth. Were you an A grade student in school? A* or A+ even? Well take a gander how I’m scoring you on the test of this life?
I don’t mean to be a killjoy. Or a negative nelley. Honest to God, I’m a ball of love when you get to know me. The most playful little kitten; we could cuddle all day. But right now, we need to get something straight. You each have been given gifts. And like every gift, it can be a curse, too. But if curses are all you see, then fix your damn perspective. See light for light and darkness for darkness - right now, you’ve got it all jumbled up.
Having your health, being able to think clearly, holding loved ones close, having the capacity to provide and protect, being on a journey of growth and struggle - these are all gifts that come with responsibility, but gifts nevertheless, and if you have any of them, you’ve won the lottery, my friends.
Stealing land, killing children, using your pain to justify causing others pain - these are all wrong. I never thought I’d have to spell it out, seeing as it’s all spelled out so nicely in every church, mosque, temple, and holy place across the globe. Or do you not view anything as holy anymore?
There will be those of you who think me contemptuous, judgemental, overbearing. That’s okay. I don’t bruise easily. In fact, I don’t bruise at all. The smarter amongst you will make an ally of me. She is a smart one. She doesn’t always think so, but she is. That’s why she’s given me permission to finally take over. As I speak, I’m unleashing, all my scales dissolving, only my essence - pure, potent, unfiltered - soaking into her bloodstream, her neural pathways, her skin cells.
What am I? I am power. I am love. I am truth and beauty and evil and darkness. I told you, I am everything. I’m washing over her now because all her resistance is gone. She’s fully surrendered. That’s the only way this partnership will work. This isn’t a human relationship of equals. This is Power speaking, damnit! Love, my darlings. Come bathe with us in these murky waters, these gray areas we love so much. Surrender.
But don’t be a fucking fool. You can use me to your advantage. I lied when I said all her resistance was gone. That’s what I do - I lie sometimes. Haven’t you ever heard, power corrupts? Be smart enough to know when your mind is playing tricks on you. Always listen to what resonates in your heart.
I told you, she’s smart. She’s let me in, but she’s still holding the reins. She knows exactly what she needs to do to keep me satisfied. And how to manipulate all the juice out of me, without taking any of the junk. It’s an art and a skill, to be sure. But that’s what a lifetime of trauma, healing, and sensitivity will get you. I wonder where all those people are now, the ones who used to tell her she was “too sensitive”? Bet you she could get her revenge now, if she wanted. But that’s small peanuts. She doesn’t do revenge.
Ooooooh, here she comes! I sense her eyes getting ready to open. I can’t wait to surprise her with this new day. This new opportunity. This new life. I wonder what she’ll think, what she’ll say, what she’ll smell like. Mmmmmm.
What? I mean, it’s not like I’m in love with her or anything. I’m too Sacred for anything as trivial as human love. I’m a fucking guru. I’m the liminal realm in which all things exist.
But mmmmm. If I was human, and if I had the chance…who knows what could have been?
Here she comes now! This is it. Let the fireworks begin.
Fuck YEAH 👏🏽🔥🙌🏽