Harvey Weinstein was once Hollywood royalty; today the infamous co-founder of Miramax is carrying out a 23-year jail sentence for the rape and sexual abuse of numerous women. He is a prime example of a man who got drunk on too much power and used it to feed his animalistic appetite. At the height of his career, Weinstein had seemed untouchable, almost God-like. Women and men were too intimidated to speak out against him, for fear he would blackball their careers or find other ways to punish them. So who were the courageous warriors that dared to bring him to justice?
I first learnt about Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey while watching the 2022 film, She Said. They were the New York Times journalists who published the ground-breaking 2017 article exposing Weinstein’s sexual misconduct with employees and actresses. In a hostile environment of fear and intimidation, it took a handful of very brave women and two stalwart reporters to bring the uber successful media mogul to his knees. A few paragraphs of words strung together highlighting a horrendous truth no one wanted to face. Since then, more and more women have spoken up against Weinstein. In fact, stories of abuse of power at every level of society seem to be pouring out of the woodworks.
So-called “democracies” are being unmasked for the authoritarian, manipulative, and corrupt governments they truly are. Narcissistic emotional abuse is being revealed as one of the most psychologically-skewering and poisonous weapons used in relationships today. The modern educational system is being criticized and questioned, a system in which future “worker bees” are compartmentalized into clearly labeled boxes rather than taught core values and social/emotional skills. Mainstream media works overtime to help spread false narratives. Religious leaders hide their sexual indiscretions behind holier-than-thou, black-and-white rhetoric. In myriad ways, abuse of power, which has existed for centuries, is getting harder and harder to hide.
So what is it about the quality of power that people find so intoxicating, they’re willing to forgo all their principles to experience it for as long as possible?
In order to understand this, I must first look towards my own ambivalence with power. Growing up, I felt decidedly powerless, having been encouraged to stifle my unique voice and quirky, unpredictable personality in favor of being more palatable and pleasing to others. I recognize, now, how a certain kind of power has always attracted me - the ability to charm, to articulate, to hold others under my hypnotic sway. This was a power I saw within both my parents, one I tried to emulate and embody, but never felt quite right doing so. Now I realize, I was going about it all wrong, trying too hard to be someone I wasn’t, not understanding that my greatest power lay in embracing my true self.
Fast forward to today and I’m still working on finding my comfort level with power. In fact, power often feels like a dirty word, associated with ideas of domination, cruelty, oppression, and greed. Except that these aren’t defining characteristics of power at all; they’re consequences of abuse of power. In our increasingly polarized world, the illusion of power that we see around us and the objective truth of what power really is, are becoming indistinguishable.
Power is neither good nor bad. It just is. We can all lay claim to our own personal power, if we choose to do so. Many of us have access to power on more far-reaching platforms, as well, such as in classrooms, court rooms, and city halls. There are so many examples of people who’ve used their power in subtle and selfless ways, who’ve carved their own definitions of power based on their ethics and the greater good, like Abdul Sattar and Bilqees Edhi, Rosa Parks, Nelson Mandela, and Fred Rogers. And then there are those who use their personal and professional power on a daily basis like doctors, lawyers, teachers, social activists, and parents. Ultimately, having power feels like a hefty responsibility. So why would anyone want so much of it?
Power and Writing
Viewing power through the lens of writing and words has helped me better understand this elusive yet conflicted quality. Writing is a powerful vehicle for any voice, but the best writing undergoes multiple drafts and revisions. The first draft of any piece of writing - sometimes known as a dirty draft - is always the messiest, a chaotic jumble of words, multiple meanings with no focus and no flow. It’s the half-baked version of a writer’s original intent and idea. I wonder if power resents being thought of as dirty, just because it emerges from a dirty draft.
On the other hand, as we perfect our writing for optimal impact - strategically organizing our main points and thoughtfully composing our prose to effect - there is also such a thing as trying too hard. Delivering a pitch-perfect presentation, crafting the cleverest lines, or writing the A grade essay, can all fall flat if all we’re doing is masking and manipulating our true meaning. There is nothing quite as resonant as emotional honesty.
Words are only as powerful as the simplicity and sincerity of a writer’s intent and meaning. No amount of writing talent or clever wordplay can make up for a lack of heart.
Over time and practice, I have found the most powerful writing comes from having the freedom to choose your own words while still being able to surrender to the force of your intuition. When we allow the desires of our Higher Self to filter through us - as though we are empty vessels through which the universe can communicate with itself, through which the Divine can fully express Herself - and use our unique voice and style to craft a piece of writing intended for a particular audience and setting, we imbue our words with power, too. The power to make others think, cry, laugh, listen, see, feel. Indeed, we transfer our power to others through words, giving hope to the oppressed, unmasking injustices, revealing people’s blind spots.
You see, “power” isn’t a dirty word. We are just dirty drafts, always in the process of revision, polishing ourselves and helping to polish others.
Power, in essence, is an energy, and energy can be channeled and directed by those people with the clearest of intentions. As such, power doesn’t belong to only a select few; it’s available to all of us. We need only have access to it and awareness of our purpose behind wielding it, to be able to do so.
Of all the purposes behind wielding power - establishing control, developing strength, revealing beauty, enhancing fame, building connections, healing people - one of its greatest purposes is loving yourself and others.
Power ≠ Possession, Power = Surrender
If power offers so much beautiful possibility, why do people struggle to attain it? And, once they have it, why do they use it to cause pain and suffering instead?
Think back to a time when you fell in love with someone. Being in love felt so dizzyingly breathtaking, all you wanted was to hold on to that feeling, wasn’t it? So you did everything in your power to hold on to that person, please him, spend time with him, find ways to make him yours. It’s human nature to tighten our grip around the thing we want most. Our desire to bask in beauty can quickly turn into a desperate instinct to possess it. Our neediness can provoke us to apply controlling and manipulative tactics, so that we end up corrupting or extinguishing the very beauty that captivated us in the first place.
Perhaps the noblest position we can hope to achieve is to admire our love from afar, without any hopes of possessing him. In this scenario, our power comes from letting go and surrendering to the desires of the universe instead. Letting go of someone with the hope that one day you might re-unite seems counter-intuitive. But it is only when we let go of the idea that someone else embodies all the beautiful qualities we want in our life, that we come to realize, in truth, we already possess those same qualities. We always did; we just never had the courage to lay claim to them. It turns out the love and beauty we’d been searching for outside of ourselves, had been within us all this time.
Being aware of our power isn’t enough. We need to be able to access it by turning inwards, digging deep, falling in love with the exquisite artistry of our inner universe, and surrendering to that love. The more we surrender, the more love is able to flow through us, unhindered by energetic blockages of pain and trauma. (To read more about how to melt those blockages, read my other post, A Much Needed Meltdown).
Love is always within us; we just need to be able to feel it to free it.
This love is our greatest power.
True power allows us the freedom to love without feeling the burden of love. If we love someone, we can still prioritize ourselves and give him space, and if he’s meant to be ours, he will choose us willingly when the time is right.
True power emerges when you shift your perspective from, “I need love,” to “I want love,” to “I am love.”
Power and Patriarchy
If everyone has access to love, then why is it still such an uphill battle for women to lay claim to that power?
One of the women quoted in Kantor and Twohey’s NYT article was former Miramax employee, Lauren O’Connor. In a memo she sent to several Miramax executives, O’Connor wrote, “I am a professional and have tried to be professional. I am not treated that way however. I am sexualized and diminished.” These sentiments were specific to O’Connor’s circumstances, yet they resonated deeply with working women everywhere. Her words give us insight into why it has always been so difficult for women to step into their own power. Simply put, the current system of patriarchy does not want us to. In fact, it is terrified of the change that will inevitably ensue if such a thing happened.
Since the day I was born, I have grappled with the messaging of my second-class status as a woman and the deep-seated fear most men have of my autonomy, ambition, desire, and pleasure. This fear is so deeply ingrained in society, that women themselves are conditioned to see the world through the “male gaze”. They reduce themselves to sexual objects or people-pleasers in order to fill the roles men have established for them. In this way, the patriarchal system allows the “dominant” sex to maintain the status quo and hold on to their power. To belittle half the population, and to condition us to belittle ourselves, is one of their most effective forms of control.
Yet another form of patriarchal control used to benefit only the select few is resistance to flow. We lead our lives according to the dictates of the capitalist system, not the urgings of our life force, our sense of inner knowing. We wake and sleep according to school and work timings, not according to the sleep needs of our bodies. We eat at times scheduled around the convenience of our workdays, not necessarily when our bodies feel hungry. We purport to have values of equality, empathy, and environmental concern, while supporting a system that degrades minorities, enhances the economic divide, and ravages the earth. We live in a way that has been prescribed for us, by the people who stand to benefit most from the system we help perpetuate.
But how often do we question the rules? How often do we live as part of a society based on clear communal values that don’t need to be defended with wordy and unintelligible legalese? How often are powerful people like Weinstein confronted or called out? Those in power are desperate to hold on to that power, and go to great lengths to create self-serving narratives with which to condition the masses.
Let’s take a moment to question the narratives around women and power. What does it mean for a woman to be powerful? Does she have to be a leader of industry, a highly acclaimed artist, an Olympic-level athlete? Or can she be a housewife, a teenager, a single working mother, a nun? Is power only a quality that belongs to the masculine energy of “doing” or is it also embodied within the feminine energy of “being”? Is power always loud, brash, active? Or can it be quiet, unassuming, generous? In order to reframe our understanding of power, we need to become more conscious of patriarchal narratives and how those might actually be limiting us.
One of the most powerful things in the world is Truth. It was the power of the truth revealed by Kantor and Twohey that brought down a goliath, creating a ripple effect, where more and more people gained the courage to come forward with their own truths. Over the seven years that have followed since the publication of their article, we have witnessed even more abuse of power being exposed. One can only hope this will lead to a re-balancing of power dynamics, world over.
Each one of us can contribute to this process by understanding that our power comes from the balance of free will and fate, “doing” and “being” - using our mental capacity for questioning, critical thinking, and pursuing purposeful action, while still choosing to surrender to our Higher Self, being consciously present in each moment, and allowing the Will of the universe to be expressed through us.
By being brave enough to face Truth and surrender to Love, we gain access to the power that lies at their core. In doing so, we become much more powerful than we could have ever imagined.
Yep, you’re still one of my fav’s! I have already restacked 2 quotes from this masterful essay, but I also love the hell out of this:
“True power emerges when you shift your perspective from, “I need love,” to “I want love,” to “I am love.””
— your yield your power wisely and justly. I am truly amazed and always impressed, Nida! 💪
I’ve been meaning to leave a comment since I read this. You are a master of your craft, Nida. Such a powerful piece and therein lies YOUR power - your ability to articulate, express and share such important messages with the world in such a beautiful way. Please never stop. 💛