Perspective
When I close my eyes in meditation, ironically, I visualize an eye. This imagined eye grows larger and larger until the pupil turns into the threshold of a dark tunnel. An imagined “me” walks through it. My body-facing angle of the tunnel pans to one side, as I see my imagined self in side profile, walking deeper and deeper into the darkness. Suddenly, there is a quaking shift, and the tunnel falls from its existing horizontal plane, to a vertical one. I watch my feet lose contact with the ground as I plunge through this rabbit hole, attempting, futilely, to resist the lack of control, the ignorance of when and where the rabbit hole will end, swallowing me in fear. As one vision morphs into another, the real me shifts from a state of zen-like meditation to debilitating fear, influenced solely by the angle from which I choose to see.
Our angles, our perspectives, have power. They can set fire to our emotions as righteous rage or fiery love, just as easily as they can soothe our troubled souls into contentment or even complacency.
As such, one would think it’s important to choose our perspectives carefully. But that, in itself, isn’t enough. Rather, we must cultivate the ability to simultaneously hold space for different perspectives - to understand the anger of an oppressor, as well as the humiliation of a victim - so we can empathize with a wide spectrum of emotions to find creative, inclusive, and life-affirming solutions to personal, communal, and global problems alike.
Belonging
I meditate to ground myself, feel a sense of anchoring in a world where I have no anchor. I’ve never felt safe in my skin, let alone this world; I’ve never felt a sense of belonging, like an alien that’s here to audit Earth.
Sometimes when the inner door to our heart has locked us out - because we don’t trust ourselves, we’ve taken too many wrong turns in the past, we feel constantly rejected or heartbroken or as if we don’t belong - the only way to unlock that door is to look outside of ourselves. Not for validation or distraction, but to help others unlock their own hearts. Each heart is a portal to another. When we help someone open up to greater love and understanding, our own hearts crack open, too.
When we meet someone who reflects, closely, our interests, personality, history, or beliefs, it is only natural we feel a sense of resonance, an appreciation of their beauty, a beckoning to belong. This reflection of ourselves in others helps us feel less alone. But we must remember, true belonging can only be felt from within.
Those of us deeply immersed in our material lives have no time to reflect on our true natures. On the other hand, those of us who feel completely untethered from the material world, aren’t grounded enough to share with others, effectively and relatably, our growing wisdom. The more we can maintain balance between our physical and spiritual selves, the more connected we will feel to others.
Belonging in this world is inherent, by virtue of our very presence. But belonging can also mean to “be longing”, as if on a quest. As with so many things in life, it’s a puzzling paradox - to know with certainty that you belong in the world (because, otherwise, why would you be here?), but to constantly seek proof of that belonging, the hows and the whys, the truth of who you are and where you came from.
Ask yourself, why don’t you belong? What is it that doesn’t feel right? If you can identify that thing, contemplate it from all angles, meditate on it, and surrender to deeply understanding it, then eventually you may have the power to change it. Perhaps you are a visionary, a change maker, a disruptor. You don’t feel belonging right now, because you are here to create a better world, one in which you’d fit right in. For some of us, it may be that our greater purpose in life is to create our own sense of belonging. Which makes it all the more important to understand our deep-rooted perspectives, as well as the beauty of empathy and love.
Belonging + Perspective = Empathy
Not a perfect mathematical equation by any means.
What is empathy, anyway? It’s a word that gets thrown around a lot these days. But empathy isn’t just an intellectual undertaking; it’s a felt experience. Like belief. Like love.
Take a moment to close your eyes and SEE yourself in others, FEEL yourself in their bodies, FAMILIARIZE yourself with their stories.
You are the terrified, hungry, isolated Palestinian child just waiting, maybe even hoping, for the next bomb to drop, to end the nightmare that your life has become. You are the kidnapped Israeli child, plucked from your life of relative privilege, far from the safety of your family, thrown into chaos and fear. As either child, you don’t care about demographic labels and invisible lines drawn randomly across maps. All you want is the comfort of home, the protection of your parents’ embrace.
You are a leader some consider heroic, others tyrannical, a man with the decision-making power to erase an entire people, a man whose ancestors were wiped away themselves. The sense of powerlessness they must have felt is what drove you towards leadership in the first place, the desire to protect your people. But how far are you willing to go? And are you really still serving your citizens or just yourself?
You are the average citizen who only feels safe around people who are your “own”, who fears those that look and act differently to you, who describes others as “collateral damage” to maintain your own fragile sense of righteousness. Because if you aren’t righteous, then who are you? To consider the alternative is unbearable.
You are the leader of the most powerful country in the world. What you do impacts everyone. Your understanding of the world, your upbringing, education, experiences, have all led you to this moment. Everyone looks to you for direction. Are you some kind of god? It certainly feels that way. You are the chosen one. You could single-handedly end so much suffering. But would that really benefit you? Maybe this war is the best thing that's ever happened to you. You promote fear in a world that is only too willing to accept you as their savior. Everyone’s always looking for a savior, right?
Love of Self = Love of Others
This is a hard pill to swallow sometimes, but the truth is: no one else is going to save you. You are all you have, and that, in itself, is enough. You are enough. You have this one opportunity, this one life, to belong and create something in the world. Isn’t that exciting? Think of all the things you could create. Ease. Beauty. Friendship. Love. Peace. Confusion. Chaos. Rage. Contempt. Despair. You contribute directly to the creation of this world, the events unfolding before our eyes. You are responsible for every choice you make. Do you choose to see the world through someone else’s eyes? Or your own? Or do you have enough clarity to see not only with your eyes, but also your heart? Your heart - not the living, beating organ within you, but all the potential for love you have inside of you - is the hopeful underdog in this story, the one I’m rooting for. The one I believe will ultimately triumph.
Our hearts and all the love within them have the power to create bridges, between people, between worlds. When you create something, be it a feeling, poem, painting, environment, or relationship, ask yourself, are you being led solely by your thoughts and intellect, or by the stirrings of your soul, too? The feelings in your body? The nudges of your intuition? They’re all connected.
Take me, for example. When I write, I combine the loving energy in my heart with the machinations of my mind, from everything I’ve learned and experienced, to create words and sentences to communicate ideas. My writing skill can be assessed on the creativity with which I craft my words, but my soulfulness is measured in meaning. Was I able to intentionally pass my energy onto you, through my words? Did I somehow make you pause and ponder? Did I hit a nerve? Pull a heart string? Did you feel something you couldn’t quite put your finger on? Those are the moments to meditate on. That was when my soul was speaking to yours.
At the end of the day, your inner landscape reflects your external world, and vice versa. If you develop staunch perspectives that breed anger and hate, that is also what you contribute to the greater community. In the short-term, it might even seem as if sowing seeds of division will benefit you, but ultimately, the fractures within your heart can only project a fractured world. In such a scenario, nobody wins; not even you. Alternatively, the more time we devote to our own self-growth and healing, the more connection we create amidst an ever-evolving world.
Like a fantasy film character trapped in a room, trying to exit through the “out” door, only to find himself magically re-entering through the “in” door, the only way out is in. And the only way in is out. No matter which perspective you take, which contradictory truths you’re able to make space for, how much you feel a sense of belonging and empathy, or how much love you show yourself and the world, the emotional equations will always remain the same.
And the only way to ace this test is if we all commit to succeeding together.
Nida, you write so beautifully, so eloquently, so powerfully, so deeply. You speak to so much within us and outside of us.
I read this just now and so many times throughout reading, my eyes filled with tears. Your heart truly comes through this expression of yours - and touches other hearts.
If I could send this to all the world ‘leaders’, I would. There is SO much in this piece to reflect and meditate on, just so much. I need an evening where I can just sit and read through all your Substacks and make notes and meditate on them all! 😅
Just, thank you for writing and sharing. I just know that one day soooo many people are going to flock to the wisdom and solace found in your words. You are amazing. 🙏🏽💛
Belonging + Perspective = Empathy ❤️